The Power of Asking Why
“Sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
Yesterday, I’m almost certain that my four-year-old daughter asked me four hundred questions. That’s not an exaggeration; her curiosity knows no bounds.
“Why is the moon called the moon?”
“Why do we eat vegetables?”
“Why can’t we paint on the walls?”
She wants to know how nature works. She wants to know how technology works. She wants to know about why our pets die and why people die and why the earth is in space. Those of you who are parents know exactly the feeling of being bombarded. Eventually, we all reach the breaking point and respond something like “because it just is!”
Ultimately, one of the most powerful words in any language is the “why?” word. Pourquoi, warum, kwanini, למה, bakit…
In English at least, with a single syllable, you can elicit a host of additional information. Kids are amazing at asking “why.” There is no embarrassment or judgment or shame with the question; just a need to know and a need to understand. It's how children are able to glean so much from the world and ultimately transition into being learners. However, somewhere along the path, we forgot the power of why. In the latter grades of school, exploration becomes rewarded less than getting the “right” answer, and that is encapsulated in test scores. There might be shame associated with not knowing something that appears to be common sense to others, so we don’t ask. Our parents might signal to us that we need to start living conventionally rather than exploring. We end up evolving into adults who are generally far less curious and more compliant.
Ultimately, we neglect to ask “why" very much.
Thankfully, this skill is not lost to us. It is, after all, just a single syllable. As adults, though, it often takes bravery to speak this simple syllable. One of the cornerstones of having a strong learning attitude is to be willing to make a bit of a fool of yourself by sometimes asking those dumb questions and embracing that fact. It can, in fact, build a better culture for learning and help overcome our comfort zone and compliance issues. Try experimenting and asking “why” in a small team setting, and even making it clear that you are seeking to question assumptions to enable you to learn. Take note of the reaction, and it's likely that you will find that others have not thought about it before.
If asking the “why” question is uncomfortable to you, practice asking yourself “why?” Observe something in the environment that bothers you and ask “why?” I hate doing laundry and rewash my clothes multiple times; why can’t their be an integrated washer/dryer so you don’t have to switch your laundry? Turns out there is, but it’s not particularly effective. Even so, the line of questioning could help you find something that you never knew existed, or even create something that no one has ever done before.
Can asking why more often help you achieve your goals more effectively? Do you have any stories of when "asking why" gave you the insight to solve a problem or achieve a goal more effectively?