Being Right can be Wrong

There is an aspect of human nature that demands that we be correct. We have an internal need for competence, a drive to show up in a way that fulfills our ego and is consistent with our perceptions of ourselves. Sometimes this takes some mental gymnastics, but the human brain is an amazing thing, acting to preserve our constructed image of self. Being wrong, after all, could impact our reputations at work, and we cannot have that!

So sometimes, we dig in our heels and we push back on others. We argue where we should yield. We fight where we should retreat. And we make fools of ourselves when we could band together to find the best solution.  This need to be right can sometimes limit our ability to be effective. Luckily, there are steps we can take to help ourselves avoid falling into this emotionally-laden pitfall.

Question Assumptions

Rather than shout your point of view from the rooftops, approach the other person’s point of view from a learner’s perspective. Question the assumptions they are making, not in order to poke holes in their idea, but to learn. There may be something that you are missing in the equation, or, that person might realize, through gentle guidance, that they are making an assumption outside of their own awareness and logic frame. The power of a poignant question cannot be understated.

Listen with the head and the heart 

There is always something to be learned, regardless of whether it supports your perspective. Especially when it does not support your own perspective. What wisdom does the other person bring to the table? How do their unique experiences shape their perspective? What data do they have that you might be missing? Even if you end up being right in the end, dissenting opinions are a keen opportunity to learn.

Accept that you might be wrong

The world holds many truths, though some are more true than others. To help yourself, hold at the surface, times when you had been wrong in the past. Remind yourself that 1) it wasn’t catastrophic and 2) what you learned from the situation. Ask yourself “what is the cost of being wrong” and “what is the value of changing my position? Remember, to err is human, and in an increasingly complex, a comfort with evolving your views is almost a necessity.